What a blessing it is to have this selfless couple that mentors my husband and I.  We spent a long weekend with Ben & Mary Ann in Los Angeles for First Steps to Success with Dani Johnson.  It sounds like a “Get Rich Quick” seminar, right?  But no, it went so much deeper than that.  When you get real with yourself, then you can move yourself.  Things got real Friday morning.  Not because of the people in the room but the Holy Spirit was there and speaking through those in attendance.  I’ve been in church my entire life and never experienced anything like it.

We are all handed this script in life.  Yours might say that you are doomed to be a failure, a victim or to live a life of perfection (this is hypocrisy).  But I am the writer of my own life.  I can write a totally different ending to my script.  What has to change in me though?  What is holding me back?  Unforgiveness – the root to insecurities and anger- that’s what I am guilty of.  I didn’t realize that before attending.  Unforgiveness often comes with the labels of hatred, disgust and malice.  Those were not my struggles, so I didn’t think that unforgiveness was an issue for me until Dani told the crowd…

If this is your first time here and you have been wounded by your Mother…can you stand up?  I want to give you the opportunity to forgive her…

So I stood up.

If you are a Mother and you’re sitting, I want you to go to the men and women that are standing who have some violation of the very intimate relationship that in some way was wounded, scarred…I want you to go to them and I want you to ask them to forgive you on behalf…of their Mother.

I want you to stand in the gap on behalf of their Mom and I want you to be their Mom right there and say…”I’m so sorry, please forgive me for how I treated you.”  And I want you to let the words flow.  You have no idea what has happened to this person that is standing…I want you to get up and I want you to let the Spirit of the Living God move through you now and say the words that the person that is standing needs to desperately hear.

Those that are standing, when they come to you and they ask you to forgive them on behalf of your Mom…you have the responsibility to say…

“I forgive you and I release you and I choose to bless you from this day forward.”

So Moms, stand up out of your seats…

A complete stranger (who I now know is Marlene from Texas) approached me.  She didn’t introduce herself, ask me about my past or tell me hers.  Her brown eyes (same color as my Mom’s) looked in mine and she said, “I’m sorry for not being there when you needed me.”  In those moments a wound was ripped open and a balm of healing words was applied to my soul.  The Holy Spirit gave her the exact words that I needed to hear.  There is no other explanation.  I struggle to articulate my pain, but Abba God knows exactly how I feel and how to heal me.  The tears were many.  I love my Mom more now than I ever did as a child but she isn’t there to hold and cherish.  I was ready to crash for the rest of the day, but this wasn’t over.

If this is your first time here and you have been wounded by your Father…

I hesitated slightly when told to stand the first time.  But now, I really should have stood up on my chair for all the wounds left by my Daddy.  I was once his girl, the apple of his eye, but those days were gone.  I was approached by another stranger (who I now know is Allen from California), someone much younger than me, and I wondered how he was going to speak to my pain.  The Holy Spirit once again knew exactly what I needed to hear.  I don’t recall everything he said, as I was sobbing at this point, but I’ll never forget his blue eyes (just like my Dad’s) and these words…”I am proud of who you have become.”  I thought back to all of the times I desired my husband to be proud of me- he assured me that he was.  Now I realized that I yearned for it so bad because I was no longer receiving it from my Dad.  I work so incredibly hard and he isn’t there to observe my efforts, my children or my accomplishments.  Dads, tell your children (no matter how young or old) how proud you are of them!

I later questioned Allen about the relationship he had with his own Father and he said that his Dad had left when he was nine years old.  When I asked more about it the following day Allen said that his Dad had taken his own life.  I didn’t know what to say.  My wounds were mere scratches compared to the deep cuts of his permanent loss and yet he found the strength to speak to my pain.  Allen introduced me to an older gentleman named Greg from Indiana.  Greg had once stood in the place of Allen’s father to apologize for all of the hurts that he had left behind.  The three of us stood together and I thought- oh what a legacy of forgiveness that was passed from one stranger to another!  The keys to unlock healing might be in the hands of a complete stranger thousands of miles away.  Only my God can orchestrate such a gathering!

The Holy Spirit has power that we cannot comprehend.  That is the lesson that I came home with more than anything.  My husband and I both had divine appointments over the weekend.  We met people from all over the country who have overcome hurts, barriers and ugly pasts to become successful leaders, some in obscurity and others in the spotlight, like Shawn Harper, who also spoke at the event.  He has a powerful story about overcoming a limiting mindset.

My dear friend Mary Ann isn’t famous like Shawn Harper and she doesn’t draw a crowd of thousands like Dani Johnson.  But this woman is moving and shaking her community despite the script that was handed to her.  It read that she wouldn’t amount to much because she lost her Mother as a child.  Her education stopped at 8^th grade.  But education is overrated.  Mary Ann may have left school but she never stopped learning.  She takes her knowledge and (sometimes painful) experiences to bringing healing to her circle of influence.

My life forever changed because I met her.  May I leave such a legacy to friends, family and complete strangers.

May my circumstances give me the eyes to see the pain in the lives of others and may the Holy Spirit use me to speak life and joy in those dark and hopeless places.